Parenting


Parenting


We had given a life because of the love we had from our parents. Even if we were made accidentally or planned, it is our parents who developed us from the day we were born and made us become what we had achieved through life.

Our life depends on how our mother took care of us when we were still considered sharing life with them. We acquired the same nutrition of what they eat, inhaled the same oxygen even pollutions depending on the environment our mother had lived, and above all, we feel what she had felt emotionally when we still inclined ourselves to our mother's womb for an average of nine months. Basically, our mother had a big responsibility during our development primarily in the intrauterine life.

When a woman becomes pregnant it is of normal concern for her if she will become a good mother to her child. It particularly occurs to a woman being pregnant for the first time. There will be some queries of how she will handle her newborn. Stoppard states that "the most common anxiety is simply fear of parenthood – of whether you will be a good parent and of whether you can cope with bringing up a child, and on top of this will be the worry about your child's happiness if you don't make a good job of it" (11).

Some men, on the other hand, also admit it is not easy to become a father. Men "have difficulty bonding with an infant until as late as three months after the birth, when the child can smile or coo and interact more directly with them. Parent's ability to reach out can be strengthened by allowing them to touch and spend time with the new child in the first few hours of life" (Pillitteri 581).

Parenting starts right after the baby is born. They should allocate enough time especially now that they have a new member of the family. Furthermore, there will be a lot of lifestyle changes that will happen in their life. Gone were those expensive holidays and the groovy night-outs and replaced with the time for the baby giving all the necessities needed. "It will almost be a complete reversal of lifestyle, and at first it may not be easy to accept" (Stoppard 13). Nothing can best describe how parents outlive the hardships they have encountered just to provide enough attention to their child. In other words, being a parent is a sacrificial responsibility not only for the benefit of his/her child but, including the whole family as well.

Although parents are responsible for the welfare of their children, they also have needs that must be achieved to create a harmonious relationship with the family. It doesn't necessarily mean that although a baby has come a parent cannot do completely what he/she wants to do for him/herself because he/she is now a parent. Apparently, a parent's excitement and likeliness of the presence of the baby will likely be dissolve because his/her needs are not met already. It is true that they make sacrifices but not to the extent of giving up everything, even missing personal hygiene, just to provide all the needs of the family.

Parents play important responsibilities to impart to their children. They are the people whom children first idolize and look at them as a model. According to what Stoppard had stated "it's the atmosphere and behaviour inside the home from which the children first learn social behaviour and social roles" (11). Attitude can likely be called a genetic influence from parents because of what children see they usually follow it according to what parents do. In doing so, parents must show the good attitude so that children will live with what they have acquired from them.

Children living without the proper guidance are those who are not good in the community doing crimes and hideous act of violence. It commonly occurs because they lack proper guidance when they are still young. As a parent, you must absolutely guide your children while they are still learning in your hands. Teach them the right behaviour, show to them what is good, and let them see the positive outlook towards life. In that way, they will learn to differentiate what is good from bad and what is right from wrong. Parents who do not interact with their children are directed as a neglectful parent who has a little chance of influencing the child.¹

Another part of your role will be to teach your children the responsibilities so that by the time they will start to live on their own, they will know how to manage for the actions they have made. Children who have developed their sense of accomplishments will likely be more successful than those who haven't taught well by their parents. No matter what style your child has, responsibility can be taught through intentional practices.²

Above all, show to your children how much you love them. They need your love and affection; they need security so they will feel safe, they need to be recognized, and they need your attention. Love is the simplest but the most important way of raising children. If they feel they are loved, they will gain your respect and love you in return. It is the most precious gift whom children can give to parents. As what Schwindt said "while we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about" (138).

In fulfilling all these responsibilities, both parents take part of these steps to their children. It is not only the mother or the father who is obliged, but the two of them. In the first place, both did the act during conception so it is both your obligation in nurturing your child. Similarly, teamwork helps couples face all the challenges in a way that strengthens relationships and minimizes conflicts.³ Therefore, nourish your children with all the things you knew is good and someday, time will come they will show you how thankful they are you became his/her parents.



Notes

¹Stoppard, Miriam. The New Baby Care Book. London: Dorling Kindersley Limited, 1990.
²Responsibility: Raising Children You Can Depend On. 10 Sept. 2002. Duke University Talent
Identification Program. 5 May 2007-05-07 <http://dukegiftedletter.com/articles/vol5no2_feature.html>.
³Raising Children Network. 5 May 2006. Victorian Government Department of Human Services.
5 May 2007 <http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/parent_teamwork_skills_-_overview.html/context/15>.

Posted by: Anastasia T. Ray


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